A dozen months ago i started this poetry diary project thing/ i felt my feet falling and i knew i had to cling to the only things in this world that are a part of my heart/ my wife n' my kids of course but also my art/ que sera sera what will be? no clue!/ let the world dictate my life and my pen followed through/ never lied never tried to hide what i felt i said/ when it was time to cry i cried, time to bleed i bled
n' am i happy now? nope. don't use the word hope/ optimism seems to slip between my fingers like soap/ but something very deep in me can now see things differently/ cuz now at least i know i can cope.
followed this almost scientific epic almost religiously / at times found myself wishing i could take this less seriously/ in the midst of raw agony the search for something esthetic/ didn't come naturally sometimes i felt quite pathetic
killing the screens like i did spilling the beans like i did/ remaining unshielded unprotected like a kid/ on a long long journey towards youth/ every step taking me both closer and farther from truth
n' am i happy now? nope. don't use the word hope/ optimism seems to slip between my fingers like soap/ but something very deep in me can now see things differently/ cuz now at least i know i can cope.
listening closely to my baby breathe i started thinking/ how horrible it would be to not hear his tiny breath/ every moment in my day contains some nothing/ every instant in my life carries death/ i'll never forget i had a little sister/ never cease to love and miss her
have thoughts concerning her for as long as i live/ imaginations contemplations various kinds of "what if…"/ are destined to be part of me forever, however/ time made me clever and i now realize/ i've got a whole lot more than just tears in these eyes